Monday, January 12, 2009

Moving on to the iPod Touch

Ah...The iPod Touch. A personal favorite of mine when it comes to raging about Apple's Products, because this little device is the prime example of how simply adding a touch screen to absolutely anything will make your product instantly ten times better regardless of its other specifications. Not to mention the iPod Touch/iPhone is the sole cause of this new "hip" movement where every phone and mp3 player ever must have a touchscreen or you become a total fucking retard.




Just take a look at this thing. The weak-minded in the audience will instantly be taken in by it's sleek design and HOLY SHIT A FUCKING TOUCH SCREEN WHERE DO I BUY ONE HERE'S MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER.

The more intelligent ones in the crowd will, at very least, reserve their judgment for the specifications and....The price.

The price on these things is ridiculous for the screen size and hard drive space you get. The 32GB iTouch, as of this date, is $400 fucking dollars. That is the most unacceptable price for a 32GB MP3 player I have ever heard, flashy touch screen or not. I own a Zune 80GB, and it has 48 extra GB of space. The screen is 0.2 inches smaller than the iTouch. Guess the price difference? The iTouch is an entire two hundred dollars more. Could a touch screen honestly be worth that much to someone, in place of actual useful functions?

You might say, "baawwwww, I don't need 80GB of space you fat fuck!" Yeah? Then buy a 30GB Zune, or 16GB Zune (I'm using a Zune as an example, there are plenty of good non-touchscreen MP3 players out there that aren't Apple products). Both of those are cheaper than their iTouch counterparts, by far.

And trust me, this amazing touch screen everyone praises really isn't the most amazing thing to grace this Earth since Jesus Christ made a bunch of bread and fish or however that went. As hard as it is to believe, touch screens can actually be an inconvenience sometimes. Like when you are such a fat fuck you cant use your pudgy little fingers to press the icons on your screen. Also, I hope you enjoy mucking up your SLEEK STYLAN HIP iTouch with your grubby fingers. Those fingerprints all over your screen will go great with the black gloss all around it.

Hey, guess what? The games suck too. Now, I'm not promoting the games for Zune (they suck just as much), but Apple hyped up the games part just as much as the fact that it actually plays MP3's. So the average consumer, seeing the commercial, will expect to get some awesome games. Too bad they will have to look somewhere else, since the games are terrible gimmicks.

Oh, and the headphones are terrible, yet add a huge cost to the final price. What a waste.

3 comments:

  1. Good read. And I 100% agree with the fingerprint thing, god I hate that so much.

    5/5

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  2. Another good post, I agree with the price sucking dick, seriously, if it was cheaper I would consider buying it, but huge price for average stuff is kinda a apple trademark, so why change themes now.

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  3. I love how people act like Apps are saving the fucking world, and the most downloaded app ever is one that makes fart noises.

    FLATULENCE SAVES THE WORLD!

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