Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The iPod Shuffle.

Here's something that honestly hasn't been given as much negative credit as it should have. It kind of slid under the radar as a boring piece of shit, but that really doesn't do it justice. The iPod Shuffle is, like the Macbook Air, one of the worst concepts Apple has ever thought up. Apple needs to stop making smaller versions of their products, it just fucks shit up even more.

The Shuffle's size is the beginning of its problems. It's so small you could lose it inside the point of a fucking pin. Then there's the part where your three year old cousin swallows it and chokes all the way to the hospital. Or the possibility that you step on it, or that you lose it under the seat of the car, or it falls out of your jacket pocket and you don't notice because it weighs as much as a feather.

Some things jsut aren't meant to be small, but that's certainly not the end of the iPod Shuffle's problems. First, it doesn't even have a screen because of its damn size. How do you pick your music then? Well...You don't. It shuffles your music constantly, so if you want to play a certain song, you can fucking forget about and kick yourself in the face for actually buying an iPod Shuffle.

Oh and, the maximum space capacity for the Shuffle is 2GB. Try having any meaningful amount of music on 2GB of space. What's that? You can't do that, Tim? I didn't think so. Enjoy your aids and fail.

Of course, the excitement doesn't stop here. Introducing Apple's latest hip product, the iPhone Shuffle. In Soviet Apple, you don't choose phone call. Phone call chooses YOU.

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